In Praise of...Skirts.

As the Lost One has recently resumed classes, and being that his lovely break included, sleep, work, sleep, catching up on his correspondence, sleep, watching Chris Carter's cool, yet doomed series Harsh Realm, and of course sleep, the Lost One finds he has little to blog about. The Lost One has yet to encounter any professor related craziness (wait for it...), and has been lax in keeping up with the latest in the blogging sphere, so...Today's post is going to be the random ramblings of a man whose job leaves him too much time to think. And yes, this post is actually about the titular garment. Here the Lost One hastens to add a word of clarification, (The Lost One's mother has been known to stop in and he doesn't want her to get the wrong idea) , the post isn't about sex. Actually it is about sex, but not how you think. Biologist Desmond Morris, once put forward a very dangerous idea: Man...Woman...Not the same. I know it seems simple, but speaking a truism any five year old whose bathed with a sibling of the opposite gender knows to be true, is likely to get you a vote of no-confidence now. The most radical of Dr. Morris' findings, however, was that rather then being a source of condescension, and confrontation, the differences in the sexes are actually a source of attraction. Men are naturally drawn to those aspects of woman which we don't share, and vice versa. While this is true, saying it in western culture has now become very risky. It's here that the Lost One brings forward that particular piece of couture, because the skirt holds a particular honor in western society. The Skirt alone, inexplicably, has managed to avoid the jihad against common sense that our culture seems to be reveling in. The skirt alone carries the banner of sex differentiation, of divergence. Of Diversity. The Skirt alone says that Women don't have to pretend to be Men. The Skirt alone says Men are allowed to remember that women actually are different then them. The Skirt alone says that being who you are is okay, and not something of which to be ashamed. And so gentle reader for all those reasons, the Lost One sends a shout out to all the woman who wear skirts on campus. Thank you so much, for a bit of true counter-culture on campus, and for a bit of diversity as well.

P.S.: For those of my readers who miss the Professor kevtching, worry not, this quarter's Professor M______ looks, sadly, like fertile material.

Spring Break! Woo!! Staying home! Wo..!.. Oh who am I kidding?

For those who think it strange that the Lost One's output has dipped, perversely when he has the most time to dedicate to his blog, The Lost One has only this to say, "Get your own blog and then you can criticize!! Ponce!" seriously though the Lost One has discovered that the more strange the behavior, the farther one can go in the field of Academia. The Lost One is currently coming to the rather cynical point of view of fall quarter's Proffesor M______ who said of the current state of academic work, "Good [work] was done three decades ago, now the current crop is all about 'revisionist' view-points. And, of course, revisionist means, 'what ever has not been done, and, thus, will get me tenure.' Of course what they don't tell you is that there were usually good reasons no one ever bothered to put forward most revisionist ideas..." Sanity from a college Professor...as gone as the quarter during which The Lost One took that class. Still onwards and upwards, as Lewis would say. Next quarter The Lost One will have a new batch of professors to winge about so stay tuned! Which, actually brings me to the point of this post, because the Lost One continues to take classes from the good Professor L______, and because he wants to forget about the Other Professor L______, the Lost One will now simply never speak of the evil Professor L______ again. For those of you who will miss, he who must not be named, fear not. Professor L______ has proven to have a definite liberal streak which, when combined with the class topic of Civil Rights, will no doubt combine to make Professor L______ every bit as revolting as, he who must never be spoken of...So until Next week kiddies, have a nice break.

One to Go.

The Lost One is Currently adrift in a sea of calm amidst the perfect Storm that is the average finals week. Because professor L_______ had the good grace to shut up and sit down a whole class period early, and the language dept. is evil enough to schedule Saturday finals, the Lost One finds he has a single final left and that on Wednesday. What ever shall he do with his time? Study? You've got to be joking. No, the Lost One will pick up a little light reading, starting with In Defense of Internment, By author Michelle Malkin (Whose very blog can be seen by clicking on the link to the right). The Lost One is reading this simply because the other professor L_______, the good one, spent a few minutes in class trashing the book, so the Lost One figured it couldn't be all bad. After all, though he is fond of the other Professor L______ (he does refer to him as the good one), the Lost One also knows that he is a liberal if a not-so annoying one. The Lost One will also be listening to a lot of Massive Attack as he just picked up the 100th Window from the library. Funny story, as the Lost One was walking into the classroom for his Final de Español, the Massive Attack song, "A Prayer for the Children of England" was playing on his CD player. Hideously appropriate. On the brighter side of the academic street, the Lost Ones' younger brother, The Wandering One, has been selected to join the MIT class of 2009. His odyssey begins in September. In the mean time, the Lost One will be squeezing every last bit of Math help possible from him. Someone has to help the Lost One get through college. He is after all a minority student.

Why the UN Sucks.

The Lost One waits patiently for the clamor. It will come, in time he knows. After all, when the US invaded the Iraqi Utopia and sent their beloved jefe for a little vacation stateside, folks were quick to voice their concern. Iraq is a peace loving place where bunnies frolic with puppies, kittens, and balls of yarn. If it wasn't so wouldn't the UN, those guardians of justice, and equality have supported the US? Of course they would have. But wait what do you mean that Kofi Annon's son has been working for a company that was paying Saddam for his citizens oil? Well, It's not like he was taking away the money they needed to survive, that money from oil sales was only used to buy luxuries like, "food" and "medicine". Come now, little Mohammed ate last week and little Abdul needs an "operation" or he's going to die? Why does that kid have to kvetch about every little thing? Must it always be about him? "Heck no." is the UN response, "Little Abdul can get bent." Besides if the supreme arbiter of right and wrong is in bed with a dictator, the outcry would be HUGE, right? The Lost One is waiting. And Waiting. And Reading. He knows that the moral left, will not let this stand. He knows the fine folks who gave us United for Peace and Justice and Win Without War, would never sanction an AK-47's use as a sexual aid. So The Lost One waits, for Win Without War to post a strong condemnation of the UN. It should be up any second...Any second.

Feeling Good!

Yes, readers of the Lost One's ramblings the Lost One is in a good mood. It's part that the Lost One has just completed his paper for Profesora Y_______, (his current favorite professor as she accomplished the impossible, barring a disaster on the final, of truly evil proportions the Lost One will pass his first college level Spanish course. The Lost One can feel his forefather's pride. From beyond the grave he can almost hear them saying, "Así que él no es un Idiota completo. ") Result! The Lost One does have a minor bone to pick with Profesora Y_______ though. No you really don't need to show "Like Water For Chocolate" just because it's in Español. My main problem with the movie can be summed up in a scene from a certain show (The Lost One will not admit publicly to being a fan of this show. No only in the company of the Lost One's closest companions, so having obtained plausible deniability ...),

Guy and girlfriend walk out of movie theater. Both are clearly uncomfortable, neither is looking at the other. Camera pans up and theater billboard is clearly visible with the words, "Like Water for Chocolate".

Guy: Huh. Movies sure have, uh...Changed since I went last.
(Looks at girlfriend who has turned to look at him while he speaks. Their eyes lock. Both turn away quickly.)
Girl: Given the title, I thought it would be about food...
Guy: Oh, there was food...
(Again there eyes meet, again they turn away quickly)

And...Scene.

Is their no other movie that is dubbed into Spanish? No where? Ah, well, the Lost One will soldier on and maintain a serene face, with a crimson cheek. The Lost One's mood could only go up after attending his last soul sucking session with Professor L_______. Even if Professor L_______ did get his young group of FCAPR's (Future Commissars of the American Peoples Republic) to rewrite the Bill of Rights for his own evil amusement. Of course, the second Amendment disappeared ("What?! People aren't relying on Big Daddy Government for protection?! They can take care of themselves? We better change that. Quick!"), but even members of the Politburo were shocked when one political officer suggested the government should have to issue licenses to procreate. Her criteria for gaining a license wasn't made clear but I'm sure political reliability was on the top of the list. Also the words "probable cause" for obtaining a search warrant were replaced with "certainty". Just how one was to achieve certainty was, again not discussed. Still, even given that, the Lost One is in a great place. NO MORE PROFESSOR L_______!!! Ah, the departing mad man did manage to give us his opinion on all the issues we've been hearing about, (his comment of, "I've tried to keep my own personal views separate from the class." left the Lost One with the urge to quip, "You failed. Miserably." But...As the only one sitting next to him was a dude, the Lost One kept the thought to himself, after all what's the point of being witty if it's a guy sitting next to you?) Any way, the other professor L_______, the one that doesn't suck, did manage to go off an a tear about Michelle Malkin which was positively...Odd. I mean, yeah, he's liberal, but he's usually much cooler about it. Still, the Lost One's mood remains unaffected as the quarter is nearly over, baby! On the politics front, the Lost one found this link, (from the Blog, The ExPat Yank) which made the Lost One positively yearn for the return of his blogging hero, The Diplomad, if only to get his scathing take on the whole subject. Just thinking about his rapier wit dissecting the government of Niger...Tee, Hee. 'Scuse me lost in thought for a moment. Oh, well, The Lost One supposes we'll just have to amuse ourselves with the imaginings of such repartee. Still, the ordering of a celebration for people that don't exist...Who does Niger think they are kidding? I mean, just who do they think is stupid enough to fall for this? Oh I forgot about them. Ok, maybe.

Democracy in the Middle East, Coming Soon to a Theater Near You.

So the Lost One has noticed an abundance of Articles that are positively giddy at the prospects in the Middle East for Democracy. With Egypt trying Democracy on for size and, the ever put upon Shiites in Saudi Arabia (a country that has, inexplicably gotten a pass on their anti-democratic tendencies. Maybe the President should schedule The Sec. State for a little face time with a few members of their government...) asserting the right to participate as well, what a great time to be alive. And now everyone's so jazzed with the development The Economist, has an article, which can be read here. Sink me, if it doesn't look as if the entire region has got a taste of freedom and is saying, "please sir, I'd like some more." Who could have possibly predicted such an exciting and beautiful turn of events? What super-human, divinely inspired soul could have had the vision and will to make this happen? Here and here are some pictures of just such a mystic (on a totally unrelated topic, is it just me or is Barbara Bush a very attractive young lady [the younger, not that grandma isn't a very...Handsome women]? You know...I should probably change the topic quick, or I just might end up on that list that all the anti-patriot act crowd swears the FBI keeps of people they need to keep an eye on). Tee-hee, it's nice being on the winning team.

Lost Hours of Productivity

Because the Lost One is in the middle of Scribbling a paper for Professor L_______, (Not that he is worried about spending an excessive amount of time on it as its only a three page paper on one of several theories, not a single one of which showed enough signs of sophistication to convince the Lost One they weren't written in crayon) this is going to be one of his shorter posts. The Lost One would like to take a moment to talk about the wide range of entertainment options available to those strapped for the cash. First in the arena of music the Lost One has made two wonderful discoveries (well, one is more of a rediscovery truth be told). The first, is Live 365 a great site for listening to tunes on the net. Its a free service (the Lost One too as come to understand the value of a hard saved buck, he is after all a student) that plays music suitable for any palate, and pays the owners of the music for your guilt-free listening pleasure (ahhh, capitalist bliss). Its really sweet. Be sure to check out Into the Mystic and Sirens of Song, even if you don't stay very long. They are both cool. Secondly, The Lost One has recently become a fan of Paste magazine, pretty much against his will. Its really got a great little music sampler attached to it with some cool songs, and at only $6.95 it's cheaper then buying a CD. The Lost One does have to warn about the rampant Liberalism (Helpful hint: remember the whole instant Karma concept, Looosers) and the "We're too cool to have a business model" attitude that pervades the Mag. Be prepared to deal with stupidity. Kay, on to movies thanks to my older brother(one of the few nice things he done for me, tellingly done on accident), The Lost One now has his very own membership to Blockbuster's new movie-in the mail service which I got to say is pretty cool. Though it is kind of dumb that some videos have a wait attached to them. The Lost One requested The Office first thing and nearly ten movies later is still waiting to get a copy. If you have a very popular movie, you should get more copies of it! Finally, my ubiquitous plug for my links on the right. Good clean blogging fun. That's all for me, Professor L______ waits for no man. Women, yes because they are oppressed. Ok, maybe the odd minority student as well. As long as they tow the party line that is.

For Your Consideration.

The Lost one was perusing the net when he came across this story here. He hopes the premise catches on and would like to add that he finds the 128MB of shared memory on the HD Pavilion to be positively decadent.

Update: The naughty Lost One forgot to credit the Ladies at IWF's Inkwell for finding the article . Bad Lost One! No biscuit!

The Madness of Professor L________

Because the Lost One is neither Politician, nor UN administrator, he keeps his word and now kvetchs about his professors. Today's post, as the name implies, is all about Professor L_______ (for those who are wondering the first letter of the last name is unaltered, Screw the innocent). Professor L_______ is not my favorite teacher. For the longest time The Lost One thought he was a genius. The Lost One went to every class, positive Professor L_______ was purposely trying to exaggerate and mock the excesses of tenured academia run amok. No supervision, no restraint, no control, only biased and unexamined opinions. The whole class seemed to be an Onion, or Scrappleface level parody, though one without the subtlety. Then it hit me, Professor L_______ bought every word he was saying. The Lost One began to see, not inspired satire, but instead a class that sitting through was an insult to his bottom. Of late, The Lost One has come to realize it is, in fact, both (albeit unintentionally). Thank the sweet merciful Maker of everything, the quarter ends soon, The Lost One isn't sure how much more he can take. First, their was Professor L_______'s insistence that the US gov. is becoming less Democratic, and more controlled by eeeeeevil "elites" (from that most loathsome form of government, Republicanism), a patently absurd idea on its face, have you ever read the original Constitution? The founders were terrified by mob rule and rightly so. That's why state legislatures elected senators, and why we still have an electoral college (The Electoral College Rules!) for electing the President. There is also his glorification of the sixties, and the deification of the radicals of that era. Professor L_______ actually made the following statement in class, "The one gift I wish I could give you, is the gift of the sixties." The Lost One must admit he is now glad Professor L_______ made that statement because it allowed him to lean over to the Chica sitting next to him and mutter, "I hope he kept the receipt." Her girlish giggle let him know The Lost One is not alone in thinking the emperor has no clothes. The final straw, from eccentric to freakin' nuts, came after Professor L_______ spent an hour and a half lambasting our form of government for, "Not taking into account the ideas of the dissenters." Just what was Professor L_______'s brilliant idea for changing this? Why direct Democracy of course, silly. But won't that leave the dissenters at the mercy of the majority. Of course not, because you wait for a consensus to form. Just how do you create a consensus? Why through Love. (Yup, the stupidity of that thought left my jaw there too). Wait, maybe "Love" is code for drugs...Or maybe re-education camps...Still working that one out. Well until the next class period, The Lost One will be trying to bring Democrats and Republicans together in love. Can someone please put on a pot of coffee? It's going to be a long couple of days.